Sing it Baby!

“Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”

We all love music. And with the exception of that Billy Joel song with all those words, we can pretty much sing along with the artists - I AM working on We Didn't Start the Fire but have a better chance of performing brain surgery than remembering the whole thing:

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom

Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England’s got a new queen

Maciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev

Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron

Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team

Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev

Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac

Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball

Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia

Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy

Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichman, Stranger in a Strange Land

Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania

Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex

J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again

Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock

Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline

Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide

Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz

Hypodermics on the shores, China’s under martial law

Rock and Roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

There are entire websites that are devoted to how badly we botch the lyrics to songs. Here's some of my favorites:

Purple Haze - “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” instead of “Excuse me while I kiss the sky,”

Sweet Dreams - “Sweet dreams are made of cheese.” instead of “Sweet dreams are made of this,”

We Built This City - “We built this city on sausage rolls,” instead of “We built this city on rock and roll.”

Livin' on a Prayer - “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not” instead of “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not”

My Heart Will Go On - “I believe that the hot dogs go on.” instead of “I believe that the heart does go on”

Bohemian Rhapsody - “Saving his life from this warm sausage tea.” instead of “Spare him his life from this monstrosity”

Good for You - “I’m farting carrots,” instead of “I’m 14 carats.”

I Can See Clearly Now - “I can see clearly now Lorraine is gone.” instead of “I can see clearly now the rain is gone,”

Say You Love Me - “I’m begging you for a little sip of tea,” instead of “I’m begging you for a little sympathy.”

Suspicious Minds - “Recording a track,” “They call it a tramp” and “We caught him a trout.” instead of “We’re caught in a trap,”

Gettin' Jiggy Wit it - “Kick the chicken with it.” instead of “Gettin’ jiggy wit’ it,”

Baby Got Back - “I like big butts and a can of limes.” instead of “I like big butts and I cannot lie,”

Losing My Religion - “Let’s pee in the corner.” instead of “That’s me in the corner,”

Blowin' In the Wind -“These ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind,” instead of “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,”

Royals - “You can call me green bean.” instead of “You can call me queen bee,”

Like a Virgin - “Touched for the 31st time.” instead of “Touched for the very first time,”

Smells Like Teen Spirit - “I’m a lion, I’m a vinyl, I’m a skittle, I’m a beetle,” instead of “A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido.”

Blank Space - “All the lonely Starbucks lovers.” instead of “Got a long list of ex-lovers,”

Tiny Dancer - “Hold me closer, Tony Danza,” instead of “Hold me closer, tiny dancer,”

Bad Moon Rising - “There’s a bathroom on the right,” instead of “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

Don't Bring Me Down - “Don’t bring me down, Bruce.” instead of “Don’t bring me down, goose,”

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - "Dirty Deeds and they're done with sheep" instead of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"

Help Me Rhonda - "Well, since you put me down there's been owls pukin' in my bed." instead of "Well, since she put me down I've been out doin' in my head."

Hotel California - "on a dark desert highway/cool whip in my hair." instead of "on a dark desert highway / cool wind in my hair"

I'm sure some of you are shaking your head (and possibly your fist) at me saying, "There's NO WAY someone would get these lyrics wrong but here's a fun thought; the next time you listen to any of these songs, try to substitute the wrong lyrics for what you know is right to see why some people got it wrong. THEN you can curse me out for ruining that song for you for the rest of your life. (Smile).

And just for the record, I've been singing, Bad Moon Rising and Don't Bring Me Down wrong forever. I always wondered who this Bruce guy was.