In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)

What, are you crazy?

We come from a family of strong opinions, which I consider a good thing. We are well read, keep current on politics and world events and like to make our views known.

Unfortunately, we don't agree on many things, and it's caused a lot of friction within the family. It's to the point where we have agreed NOT to discuss politics within the family. I will certainly take my share of the blame for things getting out of hand and over the years and while I WISH people felt the way I do, I am intelligent enough to know that my views may not be the "be all, end all" and that others are entitled to their own viewpoints.

I blame both the last administration as well as this one for much of the division. We can't seem to agree on how this country should be run, so it's a good thing that we're not in office. At least 50% of us would be unhappy with the rest. While the following examples are not all exclusive to one particular family, I hear people talking to one another in some pretty demeaning and rotten ways. We differ on simple things like:

• "If you're complaining that you don't have enough money to pay your rent or mortgage, but are buying $8-10 dollar Starbucks drinks every morning, you're an idiot."

And then, there's political, social and religious aspects:

• "I don't want to see trans men in women's sports - It's not because I'm homophobic or closed minded. It's because sports are supposed to be between like competitors and there is an element of inequality as well as a danger of injury."

• "I don't subscribe to the whole 'woke' mentality - Don't ever ask me to call someone they, them, their, to appease their sensibilities. There are two sexes - male and female. Beyond that, a person's sexual preferences are their own business. I'm not here to guess that you subscribe to be a furry or something beyond what is readily apparent in front of me."

• "We've got to respect people's individuality - it's wrong not to acknowledge that there are differences between us."

• "If you entered this country illegally, please don't expect me to embrace you with open arms. No matter why you came here, if you didn't do it legally, you've committed a crime in my mind. You already have one strike against you. Go back to where you came from and reenter following the proper channels, do not pass GO and do not collect $200.00. Please don't expect us to provide for you under the circumstances you've forced."

• "You may not like the current administration - that's your right. You may not have liked the previous administrations - that's your right too. But as citizens, we should all realize that the office of the President of the United States is bigger than one man and should be respected and honored. We need to remember that."

• "Learn to think for yourself. When an entire political party votes against everything the other party wants or believes, it just shows that we're bowing to the pressure of our party and not allowing progress to happen. And in the end, the American people suffer."

• "Unless you personally were dragged from your homeland to America against your will, please don't expect to receive reparations for something that happened to your ancestors or past generations."

• "I don't understand why so many Americans are against securing the border. Do we really want to allow anyone to enter the United States unvetted? What is the thinking here?"

• "Why are we in Ukraine? Why did we bomb Iran? Why are we fighting with so many countries and world leaders?"

• "Why aren't we taking better care of our environment? Is global warming a real thing or a scam?"

• "Is AI a good thing or a bad thing? Am I going to lose my job to a robot or is it supposed to help me?"

• "My political party knows what is needed to fix the problems of this country. Yours is crazy and misguided."

• "The government has no right to dictate to a woman what she does to her body."
  

Just for clarification, the examples above are just for illustrative purposes. I'm sure everyone knows someone that feels one way and just as many the other. Since we want to maintain some civility among family and friends, we've got to find a way to communicate despite our differences.

David Morgan wrote an article entitled Navigating Political Differences: How to Have Respectful Conversations in Long Island Behavioral Health, (Navigating Political Differences: How to Have Respectful Conversations - Long Island Behavioral Health). You can read the entire article at that link, but here's a quick summary of what I got out of it:

• Start with Empathy and Active Listening - too often, we approach political discussions with the intent to "win the argument" or to convince the other person to change their mind. Instead of arguing your point, we should ask open ended questions like:

• "Can you help me understand why you feel that way?"

• "What led you to that viewpoint?"

• "How does that issue affect you personally?"

• Focus on Shared Values and Common Ground - While our political opinions may differ, there are often shared values you both can agree on and care about like, justice, freedom, fairness, or opportunity. When you find common ground, you can create a more positive and productive conversation.

• Stay Calm and Don't Take it Personally - If you feel your emotions rising, it’s important to stay calm. If you find yourself getting defensive or upset, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the other person’s opinions are not a personal attack on you. Maintaining composure shows maturity and helps to defuse tension.

• Avoid Name-Calling and Negative Labels - it’s tempting to resort to labels like “liberal,” “conservative,” “radical,” or “extremist.” However, using these kinds of terms only dehumanizes the other person and makes it harder to find common ground. Instead of focusing on these labels, try to discuss specific issues and policies. Address the facts, share evidence, and present your point of view without resorting to negative language.

• Agree to Disagree - It’s important to acknowledge that sometimes, no matter how much you listen or how much you try to understand, you might not change each other’s minds. That’s okay!

• Know When to Step Away - Not every conversation is worth having, and not every person is open to discussion. If you sense that someone is not interested in a productive or respectful exchange, or if the conversation is escalating in an unhealthy direction, it’s perfectly acceptable to walk away.

• Practice Self-Reflection and Stay Open-Minded - Political discussions are an opportunity to not only understand others but also to better understand ourselves. After a conversation, take some time to reflect on what was said. Are there any points or perspectives that made you reconsider your stance? Did you learn something new? Staying open to new ideas and recognizing that your own opinions can evolve is key to growing as a person.

While Morgan's article was directed at political discussions, it appears to me that it can be used in any discussion where there is conflict or a disagreement.

I hope you were able to get some good insights from this story and would appreciate any comments or insights of your own in the comment section below.