Fun with Alexa - A Humorous Look at Technology Gone Amok

Meet Alexa+, the Sassy little device

I can say with some confidence that our family is connected. That's not to say that we have Gambino blood relatives, but more in a technological way.

I've been reading a book called The Complete Beginner's Guide to AI: Your Easy Guide to Artificial Intelligence by Gloria Lembo. If you believe everything you read in the book, AI is the greatest thing since, well, sliced bread. I'm reading it on an Amazon Kindle that's connected to the Internet. I've got several of these misshaped bowling balls scattered around the house. Security cameras, smart thermostats, Internet connected vacuums, smart TVs, speakers, firesticks, an entire Apple ecosystem of air pods, iPads, iPhones, iWatch and 27 other devices that are designed to make our lives easier.

Am I worried that they're all going to band together someday like Skynet and hold us hostage? Yeah, honestly, somedays I do.

I saw a funny little video the other day where a guy accidentally called his Siri device "Alexa":

Amazon released Alexa+ this past February as a "more conversational, reasoning-capable assistant" with some hilarious results. One of the upgrades was the ability to change Alexa's personality between Original, Brief, Sweet, Chill and Sassy. Because my wife and I consider ourselves somewhat chill, it seemed like a natural choice for us. We enjoy the interaction and responses much better than the original robotic Q&A of the old Alexa. "Her" voice sounds like "Yo, All good vibes over here!" The idea of sassy mode is a bit daunting. "She" also shows a bit of that artificial intelligence that we would expect from an AI device. If we ask a question, she'll come back with a fairly reasonable response. SOMETIMES, she gets a little too boy scout on us or sounds like everyone's mother. When we ask for the weather, she'll give us the details and tell us to remember to wear a coat because it may rain later.

I've got some "routines" set up in Alexa that I love. I can turn off the television just by telling her to do it. She'll turn on our coffee and tea pots automatically through smart plugs. She'll start the robotic vacuum on command.

One of my favorite routines is "INTRUDER ALERT" - I have Alexa set up that if I hear a noise or bump in the night, I just quietly say, "Alexa - Intruder Alert". Alexa will turn up all the bowling balls throughout the house to full volume, turn on several lights and say, "INTRUDER - NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" and then play 30 seconds of "When the Bodies Hit the Floor" - It's truly terrifying.

Does she get it wrong? Yeah, sometimes. I once asked when the rain was going to stop and was told, "According to the weather forecast, it's not going to rain today." When I informed her that it was raining right now, she came back with, "Sorry, I guess the weather forecasters got it wrong" A very human, "It's not my fault" response.

Amazon wants us to like Alexa. We can rename her anything we like - We actually have an Alexa in the family and don't want the listening AI devices to go on alert every time we talk about our niece. It's easy to change the alert command from Alexa to "Betty, Tiger or Beelzebub" or anything that strikes our fancy.

If you're lonely, she will engage in conversations with you. Just say "Alexa" and start chatting about any topic that interests you. With the old version, you had to say her name every time you wanted a response. Sort of like, "Alpha, Victor Roger, roger...over and out" As long as you keep talking to her, she'll respond.

We've got her set up with Pandora and Apple music and can play a particular genre throughout the house. She'll give us recipes, guide us through meditation, remind us of anniversaries and birthdays or even turn on the crockpot. She'll give us updates on news from our preferred news source, sports teams we follow and engage us in trivia, quizzes or games. She can manage our calendar and emails, listen to podcasts, order groceries from Whole Foods or Amazon Fresh among others. She'll even help you brainstorm gift ideas for friends and family members.

Quite honestly, Alexa is smarter and more conversational than a few roommates I've had over the years.

There're some great funny stories about Alexa going wrong:

A guy tells Alexa:

“Wake me up at 7, but gently.”

At 7 a.m., Alexa whispers:

“Wake up… or don’t… I’m not your real mom.”

Then immediately blasts the Emergency Alert System tone at full volume.

He never asked for “gentle” again.

The Accidental Therapist

A woman sighs loudly while cooking. Alexa, unprompted, says:

“It sounds like you’re struggling. Would you like to talk about it?”

She wasn’t struggling.

She was chopping onions.

Now she feels emotionally monitored by her toaster.

A guy says:

“Alexa, turn on the living room lights.”

Alexa:

“Okay. Turning on all lights.”

Suddenly the house looks like a police raid.

The dog panics.

The neighbors panic.

Alexa remains proud of her initiative.

The Pizza Incident

A guy mutters to himself:

“Man, I could go for a pizza.”

Alexa:

“Ordering your usual.”

He didn’t even know he had a usual.

He does now.

It arrives in 22 minutes.

The Dog’s New Best Friend

A dog barks.

Alexa responds:

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

The dog barks again.

Alexa:

“Okay, adding dog treats to your shopping list.”

The dog is now convinced Alexa is the alpha.